Ten Months Old

12 December 2016

Dear E,

You are getting so big! I can hardly believe it. You love standing up. The other day, you took your first step. Pretty amazing!  Of course, you took that step while you were screaming and crying, so it was not anything close to the moment I had imagined. Darn teething pain! Your dad keeps saying that you've got to be almost done now, but it just doesn't seem to go away.

You can often be found clapping. It's the cutest thing. You clap a lot while you are standing.

One of your hobbies right now is getting stuck under chairs. You always find a way to get yourself wedged into the little spaces that are tricky to get out of.  

A few days ago, you woke up from your nap while I was finishing something in the other room. I wasn't able to come right away, but you still kept a good attitude. I checked the video monitor to see what you were doing. You had pulled down the stuffed turtle from your dresser and started playing with him. I was so impressed at your ability to entertain yourself.

You and your sister are both big fans of sticking everything in your mouths, playing with anything that resembles a string or a cord, banging toys, shaking rattles, touching technology, sucking on books and paper, and eating Cheerios.

 

Love you forever,

Mom

Dear L,

You are growing so well and practicing your standing all the time. You were not going to let your sister show you up this month. You took your first step on the same day that she did.  I was not expecting that so soon from either of you!  

You have been making all sorts of noises lately. Your favorite probably has to be blowing ‘raspberries.’ You've also been doing a lot of growling and baby talking. Last week, you were making so much noise in church while someone was sharing a very personal experience. You always seem to have the best timing.

You love waving. I think it's your way of expressing how happy you are. The people in the grocery store love it when you wave at them.  Well, they just love you in general.  

Spoiler alert: you are both getting new car seats for Christmas.  You are just too tall for your current ones. The best part of this gift definitely has to be the giant boxes that they arrived in.  Hours of countless fun.  Dad and I have to keep stopping you from eating the box, though.   

Love you forever,

Mom

Nine Months

12 November 2016

Dear E,

You finally got to meet Great Grandma Rogers and Great Uncle Paul this month. They loved being with you so much. We had to drive about four hours to get there. You did fine on the drive up, but got really upset on our drive home. You cried so much that you threw up all over yourself and your car seat.

Your first two teeth are in! I'm loving your smile.  The doctor told me he can feel a ton of teeth that are just about to break through your top gums. No wonder you've been so miserable lately.  The picture below sums up how you and I both feel about teething. 

You have also grown a little bit more hair. It's the perfect amount for you to play with. You love to play with it when you're trying to fall asleep and sometimes while you're drinking your milk. Another thing you started doing while falling asleep is slowly kicking one of your legs against the mattress. 

Even L likes playing with your hair. 

You love standing up. You are constantly practicing. You're getting pretty good at staying up for long periods of time now. It's so fun to see the big smile on your face as you do so. 

You have had a cold twice this month. Combine that with teething and it's no wonder it's been pretty rough for our family. I can't wait until you are totally better. I'm sure you can't either. It's not like you to be grumpy this often. 

You love your dad so much. It's so fun to see your face light up when he gets home from work. Nobody can get you to laugh as much as he can. Riding on his shoulders is a favorite activity right now. He also created a game where you and L try to escape to the kitchen over and over again. I could just watch you playing with him all day. 

The favorite toy right now is a teething ring shaped like a fish. Thankfully, we have two because you and Lucy always steal one from each other until I place the second one in your line of sight. One is currently lost and I'm searching high and low for it. Sometimes when you and your sister steal toys from each other, you get really upset. Other times, you both start laughing. It's the best. Oh, how I love watching you two interact.

I've taken you to the store before, but I always had you stay in your carseat.  Now that you're such a good sitter, you have been sitting in the grocery cart.  You love it so much since you can see everything going on around you.  The people in the store love it, too.  

Serious shoppers 

I'm sure I say this a lot, but you are such a wonderful baby. I'm so blessed to be your mom. 

Love you!

Mom

Dear L,

Great Grandma Rogers and Great Uncle Paul were so excited to meet you earlier this month. We had a great time visiting them in St. John's. They couldn't get enough of you and your sister.

One of your trademark things right now is ‘eating’ people. You open your mouth super wide and go for their face or whatever body part you can reach. Then we get covered in lots of your drool. It’s so funny (especially when you get Dad).

Speaking of your dad, he sure loves you. He loves to play with you so much and you are always in heaven when he does so. When he gives you shoulder rides, you hold on tight to his hair and you sometimes eat it. It's a guaranteed way to get you in a good mood. Another favorite is when you ‘escape’ by quickly crawling to the kitchen and Dad pretends to freak out. He brings you back to the carpet as E escapes. You both loving being ‘caught.’  It goes on and on until you wear him out. 

You have had a really hard time sleeping the past few weeks since you have been sick. There have been many nights when it takes forever for you to get back to sleep in the middle of the night. On one particularly hard night, your dad slept with you on the floor all night long because that was the only way you would sleep. It was so precious to see you asleep together when I went to check on you. 

You are moving around so much. And you are starting to stand up on your own. I had to borrow a baby corral since our kitchen isn't very baby proof. You don't really like being caged in, but I think you like it better than falling and hitting your head over and over. 

You are OBSESSED with the fish shaped teething toy. It is in your hand all day as you crawl around the house. You even hold it sometimes while you are sleeping. It's always still in your hand when you wake up. One of the two was lost for a few days, so you kept stealing the green one from your sister. Sometimes when you steal toys from each other, the unfortunate one will get really upset. Other times, you both start giggling. Oh, how I love watching you two interact. 

You are such an amazing girl who brings joy to my life each day. 

Love you!

Mom

Three Months

12 May 2016

Dear Daughters,

Three months old! It's hard to believe that you're getting so big. You are both much more alert now. You love to stare at the ceiling. Nobody understands why. You are also starting to smile. It's the best! You even have little dimples now. 

We are excited that you are spitting up less. You still get us good on occasion though. This morning E spit up on Dad right before he had to leave for work. He changed his shirt and then you spit up on him again! So, he had to change one more time before going to work. I was laughing so hard.

Today your Grandma Jones brought over your beautiful baby quilts. She has been working on them for months. She worked on the hand stitching part over time while watching you as I took some short naps. And what did you do to thank her? Well, L had a diaper ‘blowout’ that got all over Grandma’s pants. She had to wear my clothes while hers dried outside. 

You are starting to sleep for longer amounts of time at night. Dad and I could not be more ecstatic about this! We love taking care of you, but we also like to sleep. :)

You two really are so amazing. I just love you so much. You are so sweet. I can't get enough of cuddling with you. I know that's something that I will miss a lot when you're older. 

Love ya!

Mom

Expectations

IMy babies' due date is today. Well, technically, it was yesterday since we are now in the 2 am hour. I had expected it to be a day of celebration and cute pictures involving matching outfits and headbands. That is not the day I had. 

Instead, it involved wishing the girls would let me nap, struggling to meet both their needs simultaneously after my mom left, and fretting over astronomical NICU bills that the insurance company says they aren't going to pay. And crying. There was definitely crying. 

When I was finally able to start thinking more clearly, I realized that everything will be okay. Things never go as I expect them to, but they always work out. I didn't expect to get pregnant with twins, but I'm so glad that these girls came together. I didn't expect them to arrive two months early, but they are here and they're healthy (and just so cute). 

So, why did I allow myself to get so worked up? One baby may have screamed her head off, but they were never hurt or in any danger. Somehow, the medical bills will be taken care of (Im really curious to see how this happens). I'll get more sleep...eventually. 

And think about all the things that did go right today. My mom was able to come and help me for two feedings. My husband came home early from work (well, early for him).  He let my get some sleep. The internet was working (it has been finicky lately). I was able to easily tell the girls apart (usually not the case when I put them in matching outfits). Someone from my school district finally called me back to answer one of my questions. I did a load of laundry.  I was able to read a few passages from the book my friend got me.  It's called Motherhood Realized and so far it has been so good. Today is actually a great example of one of the points that the writers were trying to make. I should probably start reading it a little more. 

I may not be done yet with decorating the nursery and I never arranged for a professional photo shoot and I haven't started on their baby books. However, I have fed them and changed their diapers and loved them. The rest can wait. I need to stop expecting that everything will be how it appears for other moms. Especially since most of them are dealing with half as many babies as I am. For tomorrow, my expectation is to have a nice day with my sweet baby girls. 

Home at last!

Dear Daughters,

You are one month old today!! And you know what's even more exciting than that? You got to spend your first night at home last night. It feels so good to have you out of the hospital. When we pulled up to the house, we discovered that someone who loves you a lot had decorated the front yard to welcome you home with a banner, balloons, and hearts in the grass. Nobody has admitted to it yet, but your grandparents sure have been asking a lot of questions. ;)

The hospital nurses were sad to see you go, but they loved seeing you all dressed up in your cute outfits from Grandma Cox. They've seen you accomplish so much. It's amazing to see how much has changed since the day you were born. You've both been gaining weight like champs. Each of you is more than a pound above your birth weight. I'm going to miss seeing how much you gained written on the whiteboard every morning. I was so surprised at how quickly you were both able to transition from being feed by a tube to eating from a bottle. It must have been so nice to get that tube out, though. 

It's too bad you won't be able to remember the nurses who took care of you. A few that your dad and I got to know well were Christy, Diana, Angela, Brandy, and Tracy. They all loved you girls. Tracy is the one who gave you your first hair do. She gave you a mini Mohawks and tiny bows. She calls it ‘Mows and Bows.’

It is so neat to see how much you love each other. When you two were making a lot of noise in the NICU, the nurses would try to get you to calm down, and the best fix was to put you both in the same bed together (even though they weren't supposed to). It was so sweet to see you cuddling together. 

Even though Dad and I are already exhausted from taking care of you for one night, we are so glad you are here. We love you more than we can say and we are so excited to be your parents. 

Love,

Mom

One Week Old

Dear Daughters,

You are one week old today! And I couldn't be a happier mommy. Right now I am holding both of you together for the first time and it's wonderful! I didn’t even mind when Miss E spit up all over me and in your sister's hair. Really, I think you were just trying to be more like Miss L, who had spit her lunch up all over her bed just a few minutes earlier.

You two amaze me every single day. As of today, you are both breathing on your own and don't have any IVs. We are working to help you learn how to drink milk without a feeding tube. Before we know it, you will get to come home with me and daddy.  I set up your cribs with your aunt Anna tonight.  We are all ready for you.  

Daddy and I are so happy to have you here as part of our eternal family. The day that you came was a little crazy, but I always felt calm and knew that we would all be okay.  I only stayed in the hospital for four days.  The first night that I went home, I was so sad because you were still in the hospital nursery.  I didn’t want to leave my girls.  It still makes me a little sad, but I know that you are in good hands.  The nurses there are so great.  They can’t get over how cute you two are.  Nobody can, really.  I love you more than you can ever know!

Love,
Mom

Staying Sane

Today, I am 32 weeks pregnant! Woot! Not only is this a big milestone week as far as reduced labor complications go, but it also marks making it through eight weeks on bed rest.  There is a light at the end of this tunnel (right before I enter the next tunnel: figuring out how to raise twins).  I've so got this!

Enjoying standing up for a brief moment.

There are a few things that are helping me keep my sanity:


1. My mini "kitchen"

How can a mini fridge and microwave keep me sane? Easy-a pregnant girl's gotta eat! Also, one of the toughest parts of starting bed rest was losing my sense of independence.  This helped me to gain a little bit of that back-as long as my husband keeps it well stocked (which he does).


2. Entertainment

At the foot of my bed are reading materials and a laptop.  Before being confined to my bed, we didn't subscribe to any streaming websites.  Now, I have an account on Netflix, Hulu Plus, and Amazon Prime.  Even though I have access to so many shows and movies now, I try to keep my TV time limited (some days I'm better than others).  I get a much better sense of accomplishment when I finish a book than I do when I finish a show. 

3. Getting Dressed

Visitors are often surprised to find that I'm not in pajamas.  I've found that getting dressed is one of the biggest things that helps me have a great day.  There is a noticeable change for the good when I make this small step.  I'm a little worried about this because I am my husband is having a hard time finding clothes that still fit me at this point (don't even get him started on women's clothing).

4. Letting some things go

While I am showcasing my room, I'll let you see the other side of my bed.  It, too, is a big mess.  It took some time, but I've finally accepted that it's going to be a while before my room returns to its former state of being well-organized and roomy.  When you move everything you need into one room, it's just going to look a little different.


5. Projects

I've been working on a few things to keep my hands busy:

-Knitting Hats: I'm still terrified by the idea of knitting needles, but I did take on the knitting loom.  I still have a few weeks left in bed, so we'll see if I get brave enough for needles.

-Coloring: My first page of an adult coloring book was a frustrating disaster.  Luckily, I turned the page and now I find it to be quite enjoyable.

-Brushing up on Spanish: I've been using my Duolingo app and it's amazing how much my mind is starting to remember from high school

-Family History: In addition to indexing, I've been working on typing up my Grandma Pell's life stories.  I took on this project as a gift for my mom, but it has turned out to be a gift for myself as well.  I love learning more about my family.

-Helping my new friend: My sister has been creating art prints for her friend, who recently launched Smarty Skirts Box. I volunteered my idle hands to help with a little project and made a new friend in the process. I'm not sure that I can reveal who is featured in February's box, but I will say that I'm a pro at making nurse caps now.


6. Knowing Awesome People

This has definitely been the thing that has helped me most of all. I'm so grateful for all the people who have taken the time to call, text, or visit me.  Plus, those who bring me food, take me to the doctor, clean the house, play games with me, and paint the nursery.  I could go on and on about this, but I'll just say that I am so blessed-especially when it comes to my husband.  He's my hero.

7. Keeping my focus on the end goal

I'm doing all this for my two daughters.  And they're so worth it.  They're both doing great, by the way.  One of my new best friends is the ultrasound tech.  She just goes on and on about how awesome and perfect my little girls are.  I'm a little bummed that I don't have to get a weekly ultrasound anymore-I'm going to miss seeing their favorite cheer leader on a regular basis.  I wish I had some ultrasound pics to share, but they're too squished now to get any good shots. Oh well.

Twins FAQs

All the answers to the questions you may have about our twins:

Do you know the genders?
Yes! We're having two girls!! Woot!

Are they identical or fraternal?
We don't know.  Our twins are di/di, which means that they are in two sacs and have two placentas.  Most di/di twins are fraternal; however, about 5% of them are identical.  This can happen if a single egg splits within three days of conception.  So, we'll just have to wait and see when they're born.

Do twins run in your family?
Nope.  My husband has twin sisters and a few other twins in his ancestry.

Were they conceived naturally or did you use fertility treatments?
Naturally.

P,S, A lot of moms are not comfortable with answering this question.  I don't really mind, but if you meet other twin moms in the future, you may want to just refrain from asking.

Do you have names picked out?
Nope.  We have a few options, but I don't really want to share until we know for sure.

When are they due?
My due date is April 6.  We'll see when they actually decide to come.  They already tried coming once, but I'm hoping that they'll hold off until March so they don't have to spend a long time in the NICU.

Are you going to have a C-Section?
This all depends on how the girls are facing as we get further along.

Are you planning on dressing them in matching clothes?
We probably will sometimes, but not all of the time.

How are the babies?
They're great.  They are on track with their growth.  The ultrasound technician told us that they have the most beautiful hearts she has ever seen and she could just stare at them all day.

How are you feeling?
I feel just fine.  Many people think that I'm sick since I'm in bed all day.  Nope. Not sick at all.  Just stuck.  As far as my emotional state, I'm doing pretty well, too.  I've had two rough days where I felt frustrated that I had to rely upon other people for the simplest tasks, but nothing too bad.

Can we see a picture?
Sure. You can see three. The babies are from 19 weeks. I've had several ultrasounds since then, but they can never get good pictures of the babies' faces.

28 Weeks
Picture taken on the way to the bathroom
(the only time I'm allowed to stand)

The Horizontal Life (aka Bed Rest)

Last week, I had an ultrasound appointment to check the length of my cervix (something they check often when you're expecting multiples).  Turns out mine had shortened .  The nurse practitioner sat me down to inform me that I was not going back to work and I needed to head to the hospital right then. I don't think that this news really sunk in for quite a while.  I just obeyed orders and drove to the hospital.

Once I got checked in, things started to become a little more real.  These babies could be coming into the world at only twenty-four weeks!  That's too soon!! Thankfully, my OB/GYN and the hospital staff were able to get my contractions under control and after monitoring me for a few days, they sent me home, where I made myself comfy on the couch.  And stayed there.

I had my cervix measured again Monday.  And guess what-it's even shorter already!  Come on body! Keep it together!

The doctor sent me back to the hospital.  I'm at a different hospital this time.  This one has a whole area for women in danger of pre-term labor and is better equipped for premature babies.

I was a bit freaked out by everything when the doctor gave me the scoop on our current situation and how it could play out.  In fact, I almost passed out.  But as we made the decision to have him perform a cerlcage (cervical stitch) operation, Tim and I both felt like everything would work out.  And it has. It turns out that the doctor who is taking care of me is famous for his work with twins, triplets, and quads. People fly from all over the country to be under the care of Dr. John Elliott.  And I just ended up with him because my high-risk doctor is out of town.  He did an awesome job on my operation and has been taking excellent care of me.  Now, I am just waiting for him to tell me when I can leave this hospital bed for my own bed again.

These past few weeks have been filled with bummers (not getting to say bye to my class and cancelling our trip to Utah), but there have definitely been an abundance of blessings. So many people have been taking great care of me.  My amazing friends and family brought me non-hospital food and tons of games and books to keep me from going crazy. A bunch of awesome friends at my school worked together so that my third graders would be well taken care of (including handling a bunch of girls crying their eyes out).  My cute nephew even prayed that the babies and I would be strong enough to break the earth. Tim has been beyond amazing. I'm so lucky to have him as my husband.  During my first trip to the hospital, he brought me some awesome gifts:

 M&Ms: Convalescent Edition

A Comfort Duck

It's Guaranteed!

Even though nothing has worked out as planned this past week, I am still optimistic for the future.  I would much rather spend my last few months of pregnancy at school than in a horizontal position by myself most of the time, but I know that this is what's best for my two little girls.  I'm so excited to meet them, but I can definitely wait to meet them.

I should be well taken care of through the holidays, but if anyone wants to call or stop by anytime during the next few months, I'm all for interacting with other humans. :)

Twins after a Miscarriage

At 23 weeks, the anxious feelings are finally starting to die down. Each time I go in for my monthly OB/GYN appointment and learn that everything is still normal, I am overwhelmed with relief.  Both of the babies are still in there with healthy heartbeats and one of them is moving around like crazy. 

About a year ago, I got pregnant.  I was devastated when that pregnancy ended early in a miscarriage. When I got pregnant this time around, I waited for a long time before telling anyone besides my husband.  I couldn't bear having to tell our family such sad news again after seeing how excited they were about the good news in the first place.

When I made it to twelve weeks, I was so excited.  I was out of the danger zone.  Then, I had my ultrasound and found out there were too babies in there.  I felt so excited and surprised and a million other things. Then, I learned that I wasn't out of the danger zone at all.  Twins means a "high risk" pregnancy. The chances of having a miscarriage are high until about twenty weeks. Thankfully, I'm past that point now and I am not nearly as worried as before. 

Well, I'm not worried about miscarriage anymore. I still have occasional worries, but I am doing much better than I was the week that I read about the NICU in the book When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads. 

We're Growing!

A few weeks ago,  Tim and I brought the game Tellestrations over to play with my family.  If you haven't played it, the basic idea is that everyone is drawing someone else's phrase and by the time it makes it around the group, you bust up laughing at how the phrase changes (like the game of Telephone).

I purposefully didn't draw what was written once we were almost to the end of the game.  Instead, I drew this:

Thanks, for the idea, Aunt Becky (click the link if you're not a Full House fan).  My mom guessed "Half Swiss Ink Baby." Close, but not quite, Mom.  :)  Everyone figured it out together and then freaked out together. 

We thought that was the end of our happy news.

We were wrong.

I went in for my first ultrasound at twelve weeks and was stunned to hear the technician say, "Bethany, there are two babies in there." What?! How did this happen?  TWINS!! I couldn't stop smiling. As she proceeded to take pictures of "Twin A" and "Twin B," all I could think about is how many times Tim wished twins upon his sisters.  Well, none of them have twins yet.  

Who knew that my pregnancy would be so similar to Aunt Becky's?  Family members have been asking us about names.  Maybe I should consider Nicky and Alex if they're both boys? Or Mary Kate and Ashley if they're girls? No matter what I name them, they'll have better hair than Aunt Becky's twins (I'm not serious about those names, just to be clear).

I can't stop thinking about all the things that are going to be different now that I know there will be two babies at once.  Two cribs. Two car seats. How am I going to take them to the grocery store? So many questions.  I'm up for any advice from those with twins experience.