Instead, it involved wishing the girls would let me nap, struggling to meet both their needs simultaneously after my mom left, and fretting over astronomical NICU bills that the insurance company says they aren't going to pay. And crying. There was definitely crying.
When I was finally able to start thinking more clearly, I realized that everything will be okay. Things never go as I expect them to, but they always work out. I didn't expect to get pregnant with twins, but I'm so glad that these girls came together. I didn't expect them to arrive two months early, but they are here and they're healthy (and just so cute).
So, why did I allow myself to get so worked up? One baby may have screamed her head off, but they were never hurt or in any danger. Somehow, the medical bills will be taken care of (Im really curious to see how this happens). I'll get more sleep...eventually.
And think about all the things that did go right today. My mom was able to come and help me for two feedings. My husband came home early from work (well, early for him). He let my get some sleep. The internet was working (it has been finicky lately). I was able to easily tell the girls apart (usually not the case when I put them in matching outfits). Someone from my school district finally called me back to answer one of my questions. I did a load of laundry. I was able to read a few passages from the book my friend got me. It's called Motherhood Realized and so far it has been so good. Today is actually a great example of one of the points that the writers were trying to make. I should probably start reading it a little more.
I may not be done yet with decorating the nursery and I never arranged for a professional photo shoot and I haven't started on their baby books. However, I have fed them and changed their diapers and loved them. The rest can wait. I need to stop expecting that everything will be how it appears for other moms. Especially since most of them are dealing with half as many babies as I am. For tomorrow, my expectation is to have a nice day with my sweet baby girls.
